DRIFTING along the ridge of a hill I come across a heap of stones. And then another heap of stones. And then another. Back in my native England I might have glanced at these heaps and deduced – with the air of a man who might be an expert but isn’t – they were the work of an ancient people, probably late Neolithic or early Bronze Age to middle Iron Age. But this is Spain, not the heathery moorlands of Cumbria or the northern Pennines, and different rules apply . . .
They have a curious effect on me, these heaps of stones. Suddenly I feel an urgency to charge through heather and bracken and feel the mud of an upland bog beneath my feet – not this baked ground and Andalucian dust. Strange, the things you assume you will never miss when you move to another country. I return to the house peculiarly unsettled but with lots of pictures of stones.
Still peculiarly unsettled an hour or two later, I check my emails and click on a message from the social media site Linked-In, notifying me of a job for a native English copywriter with a travel and tourism company in Barcelona. I read through the job description – but it’s burdened with stuff like this:
Analyze content architecture for all brands and provide a vision, strategy and directions to help decision making.
This cures my malady immediately. I am no longer unsettled or feel a yearning to return to a land that bludgeons its own language into nonsense. I spend a happy evening exploring Spanish pre-history and archaeology websites while using Google Translate to analyse their content architecture.
I need a good profanity! This is it, I thought he moves home to The Pennines. I’ve never been there, but through photos and your stories …
Although your pictures are from Andalusia they are bashing excellent ⭐ 🙂
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Thank you, Hanna. All sorts of things flit through your mind when you move to another country. Then they flit out again.
Cheers, Alen
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FLIT is the brand name for an insecticide! 🙂 says Wiki…
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I could use some of that.
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As you say – the kind of sentence which reconciles one to poverty and obscurity, if only you don’t have to pretend to think their BS means something.
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There must be a big factory somewhere that churns it out. I think BS is the perfect description.
Cheers, Alen
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Ha ha! brilliant! Job ads are an absolutely nonsense nowadays aren’t they?
Carol.
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Too true, Carol. They appear to be written by people who should never be allowed near a keyboard.
Cheers, Alen
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LOL, exactly the sort of stuff I used to read everyday as a teacher and think, “What the f*** are they talking about? Does anyone understand this c***? Has it got any relevance to teaching a class of kids?” 😀 😀
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Exactly. And the irony is this job was for a copywriter – someone to produce clear and engaging copy for customers of the travel industry.
Cheers, Alen
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If the stones were any bigger would they count as ‘erratics?’ (Like the Bowder Stone in Borrowdale.) They do look like a curiosity.
Almost as curious as that sentence. At least you knew what the company did. So often they adverstise themselves in equally obscure terms. Distribution Executives or Domestic Marketing Professionals. (Betterware catalogues…)
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To qualify as erratics I think they have to be deposited by glaciers, but these were deposited by humans or stone angels. And they didn’t have ladders up them or appear on tea-towels like the Bowder Stone.
I like those job titles. I need to think up one to cover my present position.
Cheers, Alen
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Sustainable Correspondent…
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I like that.
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Well done, Alen! Don’t pollute your mind with such meaningless rubbish. Follow your heart! Love the piles of stones, would be interested to know if they’re anything… you know, other than just piles of stones! 🙂
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So would I! I haven’t been successful in digging up any information yet. Early days, though.
Cheers, Alen
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I suspect I have missed lots of job/life opportunities due to this sort of flannel. Nobody seems to dig holes anymore. They seem to be in “void creation” or some such rubbish. Still once you realise that the world is basically full of meaningless clones trying to convince you that you need to be like them, life does get a lot easier. Any space down there for another escapee, all I need a couple of acres to park my campervan….. and yes I am being mostly serious 🙂
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Hi David. Yes, there’s plenty of space, and it’s pretty cheap in comparison to English space. The weather’s warmer too. And there’s lots of wildlife to photograph – although some of it can be dangerous, like the wild boar, and chase you and bite you or sting you. But I expect you’re used to all that. I can thoroughly recommend the move, although I’m still trying to get my head round a lot of it.
Cheers, Alen
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“an upland bog beneath my feet” – you must be joking, enjoy what you’ve got mate.
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Ha ha. We’ve had rain and low cloud for a few days. Home from home.
Cheers, Alen
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